Individual Coaching

Are you feeling overwhelmed in your non-monogamy journey? Maybe you are feeling embarrassed or ashamed of how much you are struggling. Or you're confused about why this thing you thought you wanted is at times so damn hard.

You are ready to fast-forward to the part where you are experiencing the fun, joy, and expanded community you envisioned for yourself as a polyamorous person.

I know all about that, because I’ve been there. Yup, when I started my polyamory journey over a decade ago, I was a mess. I questioned if polyamory was really right for me, and if I would ever get to the good part. (Spoiler alert: I did.)

Here’s the thing I wish I had known in the beginning: Starting to practice polyamory is a really big transition, and it takes a lot of work to unlearn the beliefs, habits, and practices that have been ingrained into you your entire life.

And doing this work takes more than just focus and time. It takes a very specific set of skills as well as a non-judgmental space to talk it through, practice, and get feedback.

Working with Heidi has been a life-changing experience. Through her compassionate guidance I was able to unlock a deeper sense of purpose and find true alignment in my personal life. Her support, wisdom, encouragement, and practical tools have completely transformed my life. I am forever grateful!

K

Here are some things that I help people with individually:

Designing a relationship structure that works for you

Supporting you in starting your polyamory journey

Strengthening skills around boundaries, communication, conflict management, and more

Helping you align your head and your heart when polyamory feels overwhelming or challenging

Figuring out which form of ethical non-monogamy is right for you

Getting stabilized after a major relationship conflict or crisis

Providing a place for you to talk, be heard, and get advice from someone with personal and professional experience.

A lot of the people who come to me have been trying to do it on their own, or with the support of a partner, for quite some time. They come to me because they haven’t seen much change, and they are often pretty discouraged and doubtful that things will shift. And here’s what I tell them: It’s not just time and practice that will help make this new relationship structure easier.

It’s learning and implementing specific skills that we generally don’t learn in monogamous relationships. If you aren’t implementing those new skills, you might just be trying to “willpower” your way through the tough spots, hoping they will magically get easier. (That was me, so no judgment here.)

What’s actually happening when you do that is you are teaching your nervous system that those tough spots are scary, threatening things, and that your body and brain should go into emergency mode when these feelings come up.

If you are wanting to see a shift, and are ready to try something different, I would love to work with you. Together we can get you learning and using new skills that will actually get you some traction and have you experiencing more ease within your self and in your relationships.

So why a coach?

I didn't think I was capable of showing up in relationships this securely and with this much self-respect before. As an experienced therapist myself, I was not sure what I would get out of a relationship coach, but I decided to try. After a year of working with Heidi, I have a stronger sense of who I am and what is important to me, have been able to release myself from relationships that no longer served me, and spend more time navigating the nuances of relationships in ways I haven't been able to before.

Ava