Are you new(ish) to polyamory and feeling overwhelmed?

You are excited to be starting your polyamory journey, and a lot of the time you love it! But... sometimes you hate it. You might be experiencing self-doubt, jealousy, or communication breakdowns. In other words, the poly wobbles 😬

Any of this sound familiar?

  • Saying or doing things you later regret

  • Spending hours stressed out, imagining worst case scenarios 

  • Wondering if polyamory is actually for you

  • Feeling insecure in your relationships 

  • Putting more and more rules into place to try to manage your anxiety

  • Feeling shame and self doubt 

  • Getting a sick-to-your-stomach feeling thinking about your partner with someone else

  • Wondering if polyamory will ever get easier

Please know that you are not alone.

This describes most of the people who I work with. And honestly, it was me too once upon a time…

When I first started my polyamory journey, I was A MESS. I was living in a constant state of panic, fear, and anxiety. I would get so stuck in the what-ifs and other negative thought cycles, that I wasn’t able to enjoy all of the good that came along with polyamory.

I messed up so many relationships, and it took me YEARS to get to a place where I was calm, confident, and able to thrive in polyamory. But here’s the thing I want you to know…

It doesn’t have to take you that long…

The program I’ve created consolidates all of my best strategies, tools, and teachings that I’ve put together over the past decade as I’ve been supporting folks in their entry into polyamory.

I’ve crafted a program that will guide you through the most challenging aspects of polyamory. And you won’t be doing it alone. You’ll have me and a community of peers doing it right alongside you.

This program provides you with the support, guidance, and skillset you need to thrive in your polyamorous relationships.

You may have already tried the following and found it didn’t work:

Getting therapy from a therapist who may be very skilled, but doesn’t actually have an in-depth knowledge of polyamory

After a big blow up, swearing to yourself and others that you’ll do it differently next time, through sheer force of will (and shame)

Reading the latest books on polyamory, but struggling to apply what you learned

Joining Facebook support groups, and then feeling intimidated by how harsh and judgmental some of the comments are

If these methods didn’t work for you, it’s not your fault!

When it comes to deep reflective work, practicing and implementing new skills, and shifting mindset (basically, all of the prerequisites for thriving in polyamory!) these things aren’t actually enough. (Believe me, I learned this the hard way!)

It takes community, education, and lots of opportunities to practice to actually set yourself up for success in polyamory. Having access to a compassionate and experienced coach doesn’t hurt either. 

Welcome to Steady Your Poly Wobbles

A 12-week coaching program to help you thrive
in your polyamorous relationships.

A community where non-judgment is one of the guiding principles, with on-demand lessons that walk you through each step of skill-building and reflection.

Here are some of the skills you’ll learn:

Identifying when monogamy programming is creeping in and learn how to tackle it

Getting clear on what you need and how to ask for it

How to interrupt negative thought cycles before they overwhelm you

Techniques that are proven to reduce distress caused by jealousy and envy

Feeling confident in navigating common polyamory challenges

Hi, I’m Heidi, LCSW

(she/her)

I believe that polyamory can be a satisfying and empowering relationship model, and I am passionate about helping you get the most out of your relationships. I’ve been working with ethically non-monogamous folx for over 10 years.

Through my own polyamory journey, as well as over 15 years working as a therapist, I’ve developed strategies to help move you from anxiety and distress to empowerment and fulfillment in your relationships.

Here’s what we’ll be doing week by week…

  • We’ll start by getting you clear on why you are choosing polyamory, and the ways in which it aligns with your values, dreams, and beliefs. This is the foundation you can return to when things get tough.

  • We all grew up in a culture that trained us to glorify monogamy and view non-monogamy as problematic and pathological. We’ll explore how this impacts you and what to do to challenge it.

  • What monogamy didn’t teach you about how to cope with relationship distress. This week we will focus on managing emotions, identifying needs, and making requests.

  • This week we’ll focus on how to identify and break out of negative thought patterns related to relationships and polyamory.

  • You’ll learn what they are, what they do, and when to use them. We’ll focus especially on boundaries as an effective tool to protect both you and your relationships.

  • We’ll talk about what happens to the brain during conflict and the communication skills that will help you move through it more effectively (without saying things you’ll regret later).

  • We’ll explore what’s possible, as well as cover how to negotiate safety with new partners as well as existing partners, determine your own risk threshold, and the variety of ways other polyamorous people handle this.

  • We’ll discuss all things related to dating, including how to meet other polyamorous people, and specific considerations when dating as a polyamorous person. We’ll also discuss NRE and how to cope with it when you (or a partner) are experiencing it.

  • We’ll discuss what it is, how to cope with it, and how to talk to partners about it.

  • You’ll learn what kinds of agreements will set you up for success, how to have agreement conversations with partners, and what is important to include in agreements.

  • Catch up on curriculum, getting your final questions answered in weekly calls.

  • You’ll lose access to the community and calls, but you’ll still have the videos for an extra month in case you want to rewatch any lessons.

Here’s what you need to know:

  • There will be weekly live calls on Wednesdays (alternating between 9:30am + 4:30pm Pacific Time to accommodate various time zones )

  • Once you sign up, you’ll get a 30-minute planning session with me to go over how to get the most out of the program

  • The program will include videos, worksheets, and a community space to connect with others and ask me questions.

  • I will be available both in the community chat and during the group calls to offer individual coaching and answer any questions that come up during the program.

  • Once you complete the 12-weeks, you will get the chance to join an exclusive, invite-only small group for ongoing live coaching and peer support.

  • The program is trans- and queer-inclusive

What Past Participants are Saying About Steady Your Poly Wobbles

Heidi's workshop helped me make sense of my relatively newfound polyamorous identity.

I learned to name thoughts and feelings that had until then been nebulous, and I gained an enhanced ability to discuss ideas and develop a deeper understanding of myself.

The group setting reminded me that I'm not alone in my struggles (and triumphs). Through the process of better understanding myself, I developed a profound sense of inner peace that has stuck with me.

-Beka

I came into this group with Heidi being highly recommended, but I was skeptical that I would find what I needed and truly process the work about becoming poly.

What I found was that Heidi was extremely receptive, let the group breathe as needed but also kept pushing us forward. She fostered communication within the group and helped us to really bond. I left the group with a couple really good friends - so good in fact we are planning on meeting up soon!

I have a more confident knowledge of WHY I am poly, where I have work to do and most importantly, what direction I want to head in as I progress forward. I would do it all again if I could.

-S

I could not be more grateful that I took the time for the poly wobbles course. Heidi is an amazing guide and it is a treasure to experience it with a group of fellow poly folks finding their way.

There are so many important lessons that I will continue to lean on in the years to come, and it was also just a genuinely fun and interesting experience to have and share. I think my relationships will be in a much stronger place going forward because of what I learned here.

Cannot recommend more highly, especially for people who are newer to or struggling with aspects of the poly experience.

-Maddy

The Steady Your Poly Wobbles class with Heidi is an essential experience for anyone who is just beginning poly, to those more experienced who may still be facing challenges in their relationships.

Heidi's approach is rooted in fantastic materials that are reviewed each week, and the self-reflection work we were assigned was so important in my journey.

Heidi is super knowledgeable, as well as compassionate, kind, and accepting of wherever you are on your path. She makes the classroom a safe space for us to be vulnerable and share. I would recommend this class highly; it was worth every penny and every hour of class and homework time!

- Danielle

I now have a solid foundation for any difficult time ahead of me in any relationship. I have so many tools to work through a variety of emotional situations and they actually work.

As a person newer to polyamory I appreciate that Heidi hit every topic that I was interested in and some I didn't even think of, all of which were extremely beneficial.

The relief of enlightenment is difficult to put into words. Heidi creates a safe and open space for you to be yourself and heard. I really appreciate the feeling of community, acceptance, and experiences shared by like-minded folks. I wouldn't be where I am right now without this workshop. No matter the style, I recommend this workshop to anyone who has any sort of relationship with another human being.

-Michelle

The Steady Your Poly Wobbles group presented itself to me during an optimal time and I couldn’t be more grateful.

The content of each week’s session, along with the support I felt from Heidi and the group members, provided me with crucial stepping stones as I move forward through this process.

I was able to vulnerably express my feelings and thoughts in a safe space, surrounded by the warmth of five other people who were each in different places with regards to their poly experiences and desires. Thank you Heidi doing such beautiful work!

- Lisa

What You’ll Get

Weekly Coaching Calls

direct support from Heidi

12 weeks

Compassionate Community

a space filled with other supportive polyamorous people exploring alongside you

12 weeks

On-Demand Videos

access to videos & worksheets

4 months

Steady Your Poly Wobbles ISN’T
for you if:

  • You are looking to never again experience relationship discomfort (if anyone claims they can help you do this, it’s time to give them some serious side eye 😒) 

  • You want to sign up to use it later (this program happens in real time, so sign up when you are ready to engage!)

  • You aren’t comfortable being in a queer- and trans- inclusive spac

  • You don’t do well in group setting and would rather get focused 1:1 attention (if this is you, check out my individual coaching packages)

Steady Your Poly Wobbles IS
for you if:

  • You are starting or have recently started your polyamory/ethical non-monogamy journey

  • You’ve been polyamorous for a while, but still find yourself on the struggle bus most of the time 🚌

  • You are craving a polyamorous community where you can learn and be vulnerable together

  • You are looking to level up your polyamory skills

  • You are ready to do the work NOW rather than just collecting tools for later

Have questions about the program?

  • It’s both! Each week the learning module will include recorded lessons to watch and worksheets to complete. You will also have access to the community space, where you can connect with your classmates, get peer support, and get coaching from me. There will also be live group calls 4 times per month where you can come, discuss what you are learning, ask any questions about the modules, connect with your peers, and get my support.

  • I will record the live calls and leave them up for a week, so you can go back and watch what you missed. You can also send in your question ahead of time, and I’ll answer it for you to watch later.

  • In order to get the most out of this program, I highly encourage participants to post in our private community space between live calls. It’s a place to get support from me as well as the community. You can ask questions, share stories, and talk about your challenges. I’ll answer your specific questions there, and you can see my answers to other members as well.

  • There will be group guidelines and norms around sharing pronouns and not assuming the gender of participants’ partners. We will acknowledge and honor that everyone’s experience of gender and sexuality is different and we will not make assumptions about other participants’ experiences. If you have questions about whether this group will be a place that honors your experience, please reach out to me, I am happy to talk further about this.

  • If you are in a relationship, you can definitely take the course at the same time! However, because the course is specifically designed for individuals, you would both need to sign up for the course independently, and you are encouraged to each show up to the live calls on your own device.

Other questions? Reach out to me at heidi@shelovesradically.com. I’m also happy to set up a free 20-minute call to talk it through.

Are you in?

Cost: 3 montly payments of $332 OR one payment of $996

Alternative payment plans available (email me for details)

  • "I loved connecting with real people, getting to hear your experiences, and seeing the effort everyone is putting into themselves. I learned so much about the choices I can make and what those possibilities look like. I felt completely untethered and lost before. Now I'm oriented."

    M.

  • "This group helped me so much!! It came at just the right time, and really helped me communicate better with my partner. It also allowed me space to process what polyamory means to me, and how it can be healthy for me moving forward. Being surrounded by people who understand, and related, to my struggles made me feel validated and less alone. And the coaching in between sessions proved invaluable."

    Colleen

  • "I LOVED this program!!! I would highly recommend SYPW to any friend who is newish to non monogamy. Heidi is so skilled and non judgmental in taking the group through the process of getting more grounded in being non monogamous. I've got new communication and self-soothing skills, and I feel WAY more solid and confident about this journey."

    Annie Z.

  • "The PolyWobbles small groups are so great for building community, finding new perspectives, and thinking thoughtfully about your romantic partnerships. After going through the program I definitely felt more steady, confident, and connected. I highly recommend it."

    Anna

Not sure what you need? Book an exploratory chat!