Are you new(ish) to polyamory and feeling overwhelmed?
You are excited to be starting your polyamory journey, and a lot of the time you love it! But... sometimes you hate it. You might be experiencing self-doubt, jealousy, or communication breakdowns. In other words, the poly wobbles 😬
Any of this sound familiar?
Saying or doing things you later regret
Spending hours stressed out, imagining worst case scenarios
Wondering if polyamory is actually for you
Feeling insecure in your relationships
Putting more and more rules into place to try to manage your anxiety
Feeling shame and self doubt
Getting a sick-to-your-stomach feeling thinking about your partner with someone else
Wondering if polyamory will ever get easier
Please know that you are not alone.
This describes most of the people who I work with. And honestly, it was me too once upon a time…
When I first started my polyamory journey, I was A MESS. I was living in a constant state of panic, fear, and anxiety. I would get so stuck in the what-ifs and other negative thought cycles, that I wasn’t able to enjoy all of the good that came along with polyamory.
I messed up so many relationships, and it took me YEARS to get to a place where I was calm, confident, and able to thrive in polyamory. But here’s the thing I want you to know…
Experience polyamory without panic, rumination, or emotional shutdown.
I’ve created a series of courses that bring together the best strategies and tools I’ve developed over the past decade for helping people navigate non-monogamy
Instead of spiraling for hours (or days!) over the hard parts, you’ll learn practical skills to handle polyamory challenges with confidence.
With clear, actionable steps you can start using immediately, these courses help you feel steadier, more joyful, and secure in navigating the ups and downs of polyamory
You may have already tried the following and found it didn’t work:
Getting therapy from a therapist who may be very skilled, but doesn’t actually have an in-depth knowledge of polyamory
After a big blow up, swearing to yourself and others that you’ll do it differently next time, through sheer force of will (and shame)
Reading the latest books on polyamory, but struggling to apply what you learned
Joining Facebook support groups, and then feeling intimidated by how harsh and judgmental some of the comments are
If these methods didn’t work for you, it’s not your fault!
There is so much information out there these days about polyamory, but figuring out how to turn all that knowledge into real, lasting change isn’t easy. It takes more than research and good intentions (I learned this the hard way!)
You need concrete tools, step-by-step strategies, and a way to practice them in your own life. These courses are designed to give you exactly that, so you can save yourself years of guesswork and struggle.
Welcome to Steady Your Poly Wobbles courses.
On demand lessons with clear, actionable steps that you can put into practice right away. No more hoping things will get better. Get the tools that will actually make a difference.
Here are some of the skills you’ll learn:
Exactly how to interrupt negative thought cycles before they overwhelm you
Communicating through conflict in ways that actually strengthen connection
Managing New Relationship Energy (your own or a partner’s) without blowing up your relationships
Strategies that are proven to reduce distress caused by jealousy and fear
The questions to ask potential polyamorous partners to learn about compatibility before diving in
Hi, I’m Heidi, LCSW
(she/her)
I believe that polyamory can be a satisfying and empowering relationship model, and I am passionate about helping you get the most out of your relationships. I’ve been working with ethically non-monogamous folx for over 10 years.
Through my own polyamory journey, as well as over 15 years working as a therapist, I’ve developed strategies to help move you from anxiety and distress to empowerment and fulfillment in your relationships.
The Courses
Confident Boundaries in Polyamory
Step-by-step guidance for setting, communicating, and maintaining boundaries that support your relationships
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Do you ever hesitate to set boundaries, get confused about what exactly a boundary even is, or feel frustrated when your limits are ignored? Struggling with boundaries in polyamory is so common, and it can leave you feeling powerless, overwhelmed, or unsure of how to respond.
Most available resources on boundaries are academic or theoretical. That information has value, but it rarely translates into real-life skills you can use when emotions are running high. This course is different. It gives you practical, hands-on tools you can apply directly in your relationships.
Here is what you’ll get:
Step-by-step guidance for setting boundaries that are clear and kind
Concrete examples and worksheets to apply what you are learning immediately
Strategies for communicating boundaries effectively
Troubleshooting tools for when boundaries aren’t working
Techniques for navigating guilt, shame, or fear that arise when setting boundaries
By the end of the course, you will know exactly what boundaries are, how to use them in ways that actually work, and how to respond when challenges arise. You will leave with practical skills you can return to whenever you need to set new boundaries or revisit old ones.
This course is for anyone ready to stop feeling reactive or uncertain about boundaries and start building relationships that honor your needs and values.
Create Your Polyamory Mission Statement
Clarify your why and stay grounded in polyamory
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Do you ever catch yourself in a tough polyamory moment thinking, “Damn this is hard. Why am I even doing this?!”
Maybe it’s while a partner is having their first overnight with someone new. Maybe it’s when jealousy or insecurity shows up in a way you didn’t expect.
The honest truth is that almost every polyamorous person has had moments like this.
When things feel wobbly, it can be surprisingly easy to lose sight of the bigger picture and start questioning everything.
But that moment of doubt does not have to spiral into an existential crisis or lead you to make declarations that you might later regret.
Instead, it can be an opportunity to reconnect with the deeper reasons you chose this relationship structure in the first place. Your values. Your beliefs about love. Your hopes for the kind of relationships you want to build.
This mini-course guides you through a thoughtful reflection on those foundations, and how they connect to your decision to practice open relating.
By the end of the course, you will have a written document that captures your personal “why.” Something you can return to when the path feels difficult. A touchstone. A mission statement. A reminder of what matters most to you and why this path is worth it, even when it’s hard.
Managing Jealousy, Fear, and Distress in Polyamory
Practical skills for navigating relationship overwhelm
-
If you’ve ever found yourself so spun out in your relationships that you feel panicked and overwhelmed, or find yourself acting in ways you don’t even recognize, this course is for you.
This level of distress when it comes to relationships can feel scary and disorienting, especially if it’s not something you experienced in monogamy. You might find yourself wondering whether you’re really cut out for polyamory at all.
What’s actually happening is this: Due to a lifetime of monogamous messaging, your brain codes certain aspects of polyamory as a threat, and your nervous system gets pushed into a state of extreme activation. Most of us were never taught the skills to navigate that in a relational context.
In this course, we’ll take a deep dive into the foundations that actually make relational steadiness possible:
• understanding nervous system activation
• learning how to regulate intense emotions
• identifying the needs underneath your reactions
• making clear, grounded requests that set you up for successYou’ll learn exactly what to do when overwhelm hits.
And more importantly, you’ll learn how to catch it earlier so it stops sabotaging the relationships you care about most.
By the end of this course, you’ll have a clear roadmap for what to do when your nervous system gets activated, instead of feeling like you are white-knuckling your way through panic.
Here’s what you need to know:
Once you sign up for a course, you will be invited to a private learning platform where you can access all the learning materials.
This course is yours to keep- it won’t expire.
Most lessons include short videos, worksheets, and notes that correspond to the videos.
The lessons vary in the amount of learning material each one includes. The different prices reflect this variation.
What Past Participants are Saying About Steady Your Poly Wobbles Courses
Heidi's workshop helped me make sense of my relatively newfound polyamorous identity.
I learned to name thoughts and feelings that had until then been nebulous, and I gained an enhanced ability to discuss ideas and develop a deeper understanding of myself.
-Beka
“I could not be more grateful that I took the time for the poly wobbles course. Heidi is an amazing guide. Cannot recommend more highly, especially for people who are newer to or struggling with aspects of the poly experience.
-Maddy
The Steady Your Poly Wobbles class with Heidi is an essential experience for anyone who is just beginning poly, to those more experienced who may still be facing challenges in their relationships.
Heidi's approach is rooted in fantastic materials that are reviewed each week, and the self-reflection work we were assigned was so important in my journey.
Heidi is super knowledgeable, as well as compassionate, kind, and accepting of wherever you are on your path. I would recommend this class highly; it was worth every penny and every hour of class and homework time!
- Danielle
I now have a solid foundation for any difficult time ahead of me in any relationship. I have so many tools to work through a variety of emotional situations and they actually work.
-Michelle
The Courses
Confident Boundaries in Polyamory
Step-by-step guidance for setting, communicating, and maintaining boundaries that support your relationships
-
Do you ever hesitate to set boundaries, get confused about what exactly a boundary even is, or feel frustrated when your limits are ignored? Struggling with boundaries in polyamory is so common, and it can leave you feeling powerless, overwhelmed, or unsure of how to respond.
Most available resources on boundaries are academic or theoretical. That information has value, but it rarely translates into real-life skills you can use when emotions are running high. This course is different. It gives you practical, hands-on tools you can apply directly in your relationships.
Here is what you’ll get:
Step-by-step guidance for setting boundaries that are clear and kind
Concrete examples and worksheets to apply what you are learning immediately
Strategies for communicating boundaries effectively
Troubleshooting tools for when boundaries aren’t working
Techniques for navigating guilt, shame, or fear that arise when setting boundaries
By the end of the course, you will know exactly what boundaries are, how to use them in ways that actually work, and how to respond when challenges arise. You will leave with practical skills you can return to whenever you need to set new boundaries or revisit old ones.
This course is for anyone ready to stop feeling reactive or uncertain about boundaries and start building relationships that honor your needs and values.
Create Your Polyamory Mission Statement
Clarify your why and stay grounded in polyamory
-
Do you ever catch yourself in a tough polyamory moment thinking, “Damn this is hard. Why am I even doing this?!”
Maybe it’s while a partner is having their first overnight with someone new. Maybe it’s when jealousy or insecurity shows up in a way you didn’t expect.
The honest truth is that almost every polyamorous person has had moments like this.
When things feel wobbly, it can be surprisingly easy to lose sight of the bigger picture and start questioning everything.
But that moment of doubt does not have to spiral into an existential crisis or lead you to make declarations that you might later regret.
Instead, it can be an opportunity to reconnect with the deeper reasons you chose this relationship structure in the first place. Your values. Your beliefs about love. Your hopes for the kind of relationships you want to build.
This mini-course guides you through a thoughtful reflection on those foundations, and how they connect to your decision to practice open relating.
By the end of the course, you will have a written document that captures your personal “why.” Something you can return to when the path feels difficult. A touchstone. A mission statement. A reminder of what matters most to you and why this path is worth it, even when it’s hard.
Managing Jealousy, Fear, and Distress in Polyamory
Practical skills for navigating relationship overwhelm
-
If you’ve ever found yourself so spun out in your relationships that you feel panicked and overwhelmed, or find yourself acting in ways you don’t even recognize, this course is for you.
This level of distress when it comes to relationships can feel scary and disorienting, especially if it’s not something you experienced in monogamy. You might find yourself wondering whether you’re really cut out for polyamory at all.
What’s actually happening is this: Due to a lifetime of monogamous messaging, your brain codes certain aspects of polyamory as a threat, and your nervous system gets pushed into a state of extreme activation. Most of us were never taught the skills to navigate that in a relational context.
In this course, we’ll take a deep dive into the foundations that actually make relational steadiness possible:
• understanding nervous system activation
• learning how to regulate intense emotions
• identifying the needs underneath your reactions
• making clear, grounded requests that set you up for successYou’ll learn exactly what to do when overwhelm hits.
And more importantly, you’ll learn how to catch it earlier so it stops sabotaging the relationships you care about most.
By the end of this course, you’ll have a clear roadmap for what to do when your nervous system gets activated, instead of feeling like you are white-knuckling your way through panic.
Have questions about the program?
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It used to. The program used to include these courses plus live calls and a community forum. In order to make it more accessible, I’m offering the courses individually, and separate from a community or live calls.
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I’ll be bringing those back in the future. Make sure you are signed up for my mailing list to be notified when I relaunch the community and group calls.
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I’m currently updating all the Steady Your Poly Wobbles courses, so they will become available on this page as they are ready. I’ll also announce them on my mailing list and over on Instagram.
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If you have a topic you wish I’d cover, please reach out to me here and let me know! I’d love to hear your ideas.
Other questions? Reach out to me at heidi@shelovesradically.com. I’m also happy to set up a free 20-minute call to talk it through.
Are you in?
Steady your poly wobbles with courses that deliver real strategies and tools for people practicing non-monogamy.